The Role of a Counselor
(This blog was adapted from a paper I wrote in 2021 for Graduate School)
The human experience is complex, to say the least. To quote Charles Dicken’s Tale of Two Cities, and Batman “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness...it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness,” Being human is complicated. To be someone's counselor means you have been chosen to come alongside and bear witness to someone's experience, all of it. This is a sacred responsibility, a responsibility I am excited to step into. I must disclose, I have probably never had a new thought in my life. I stand on the shoulders of others who are much smarter than I am. The following is how I plan to approach the role of a counselor as well as how I understand human nature. Additionally, how I hope to help others heal and bear witness to others’ lives.
The lines between Counselor and Psychotherapist are often blurred, I lean more towards labeling myself as a psychotherapist because I would prefer to work with deep-seated issues, in a long-term setting. (3). Much of the reasoning comes from the fact I hope to work with trauma. Trauma and PTSD often come from deep-seated issues, that I would hope to help people find healing and liberation from. Specific goals from clients vary, however, I hypothesize the common goal among all clients is peace and healing. Furthermore, “the job of a therapist is to help people ‘acknowledge, experience and bear’ the reality of life – with all its pleasure and heartbreak” (5). Which I consider a huge responsibility and an honor.
The role of a counselor/psychotherapist is to help others find healing. To be a mental health professional is to be a healer of hearts, minds, and souls. A counselor or psychotherapist has the privilege to assist the client in their healing process. It is to bear witness to the most vulnerable and wounded parts of a person. Counselors/psychotherapists are “co-discoverers, along with their clients, in the client’s journey to self-understanding” (2).
There are a variety of qualities a counselor or psychotherapist should have, those qualities vary based on the type of setting one is working in. If you are working with foster care children, being an advocate or agent of social change will require an in-depth understanding of multicultural and socio-political issues (2). Having your character and credibility tested as an expert witness will require no small degree of hutzpah (2). Working in crisis intervention will require steadfastness and the ability to not turn in the face of immense pain and loss (2). While these settings are very different, there are some common qualities I believe to be essential for therapists/counselors/mental health professionals. Those qualities include empathy, unconditional positive regard, to do no harm, and a multicultural knowledge
Empathy
From the knowledge, I have gained and the research I have done, the ability to be empathetic towards a client is essential in a successful client-counselor relationship. It is my belief one reason why people go to therapy is to be seen, and to have their experiences and feelings validated. In the words of my father, a Psychotherapist for nearly 17 years, “people want to feel felt”. To show up with and extend empathy is to be present, and have courage, and is a journey toward wisdom (1). Empathy is the ability to “experience the inner world of the client”, moment by moment. To also communicate empathy with a client, without “parroting” what a client said but understanding their experience as if it was your own (3). It is important to maintain boundaries when extending empathy. Empathy is not feeling a client’s feelings, this can cause emotional burnout (1). “The prerequisite for real empathy is compassion. We can only respond empathically if we are willing to be present to someone’s pain. Empathy is the antidote to shame and it is the heart of connection” (1).
Unconditional Positive Regard
Holding a client in unconditional positive regard allows the counselor to have clients whose views may be drastically different than their own (2). Unconditional positive regard creates a place of non-judgment and curiosity (2). It “is the constant and unwavering respect that the counselor has for the client” and the belief that at all times, we are all doing the best we can (2).
Doing the best we can. To say people are not doing their best is to shame them, which is not an effective catalyst for change (1). But instead extending empathy, compassion, and when necessary accountability, fosters a trusting relationship that is open to healing (1). I use to be a middle school track coach for a small 2A school. We often would have track meets with larger public schools before our official season started. The anxiety would settle in for my younger athletes. I would tell them, “Give me your best, and I’ll be proud. Your best will look different every day. You can even come in dead last, but you give it your best. Give it your best and you’ll make me the proudest coach out here”.
Do No Harm
Originating from the Hippocratic oath, to “do no harm” is the cornerstone of being a counselor (6). Promoting beneficence and non-maleficence is a counselor’s duty to ensure the well-being of all their clients (6). “Defined as ‘working for the good of the individual and society by promoting mental health and well-being’” beneficence is important in maintaining unconditional positive regard towards a client (6). Refusing to work with a client because of differences in religion or values, directly breaks the non-maleficence pledge of a counselor. I grew up a Christian but I chose a secular program so I could foster a practice that would be welcoming to those of all kinds of backgrounds. This leads me to my next and final quality for mental health professionals.
Multicultural Knowledge
Multi-cultural knowledge is becoming increasingly important for mental health professionals. Whether it be privilege or poverty, having the where with all to help a client discover how they are a part of cycles that harm others or are victims of oppression is essential to being a counselor or psychotherapist. We are learning through epigenetics, that stressful experiences from oppression can cause genes to change and can ultimately change the behavior of the gene (5). Along with my belief that people seek counseling to be seen and feel felt, knowing a person’s heritage can drastically promote a strong therapeutic relationship.
One step further from just knowledge of multicultural experiences is being an advocate for change (2). I am an Eight on the Enneagram and the Guardian type on the Myers-Briggs. So, I innately have a bias that all counselor should be advocates for their clients and for social change that promote equity (2). To be a “social justice warrior”, is to recognize we live in an interdependent society; we have “a social responsibility to promote equity and self-determination for all human beings” (2). Essential in preventing burnout, understanding client challenges in an environmental context can ease the self-induced pressure a counselor can feel to “fix” (2).
1. Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong. New York, New York: Spiegel & Grau.2. Grandello, D., & Young, M. (2019). Counseling Today Foundations of Professional Identity (2nd Edition ed.). New York, New York: Pearson.3. Neukrug, E. (2018). Counseling Theory and Practice(2nd Edition ed.). (C. Benson, B. Christian, & J. Giganti, Eds.) Cognella Academic Publishing.4. Schwartz, R. (2021). No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family System Model. Boulder, Colorado: Sounds True.5. Van Der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind, and Body In The Healing Of Trauma. New York, New York: Penguin Books.6. Walz, G., & Bleure, J. (2016). Values in the Counseling Profession: Unethical vs. Non-Maleficence. Vistas.